Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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