I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
