She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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