just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh god it's open bar.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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