I must be too annoying 4 u.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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