You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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