dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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