as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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