just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
