everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
