he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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