I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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