his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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