dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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