I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
