heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
