I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nicole vs. Life
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
