His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
