Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
