Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
