Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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