can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
