Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
