Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
