i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
