Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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