The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
