he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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