My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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