That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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