i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
