i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
