How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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