the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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