tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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