i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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