Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
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Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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