i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
