Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
