i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
