Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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