How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
