I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
