glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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