oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
