those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
