found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
