i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
