Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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