i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Please don't give away my fajitas
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
