Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
