I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
