why didn't you poke me back
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
