The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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