What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
