I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
