clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
