After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
