For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
