It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the condom got lost in my hair
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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