My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
