I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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