I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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