she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
