Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
