And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
