I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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